How can i get over a bad school experience?

had a really bad experience at school a few years ago and ever since then it feels as if i will never get over it. It was hell going to school and i had a really hard time with the teachers and the other kids at the school, even with my friends. I used to get in trouble at school for drinking because they could smell alcohol on my breath in cl but i used to drink tons of alcohol before school just to make it through the day it was that bad. I used to be really confident and outgoing but after years of putting up with it ive finally left and i quit school, but the problem is i still can't seem to deal with what happened. I can't sleep anymore, i don't eat barely, my skin is breaking out in rashes because i'm so worried and anxious all the time,i'm getting panic attacks, my hairs falling out, i cry non stop even when i'm not sad and i don't like going out anymore, i have turned into a loner because i feel as if i'm safe at home where no one can hurt me and i don't like making friends anymore just in case the same thing happens again.I won't let anyone get close to me anymore, because my last friends who i adored turned against me and even laughed when a few guys and my ex boyfriend who i loved publically beat me up for a joke. I even get wary if my parents get too close to me.I have been to counselling but i find it doesn't help and makes me more depressed. I just want to get over it because it's ruining my life. I don't even talk to any of my old friends or the people from my old school anymore because im too scared to and i even saw one of them and i started having a panic attack, which i get them quite alot now. Ive stopped drinking now but i still feel as if there is no point in living as i cant face people. My parents tried to send me to school as i really want to achieve my qualifications, but they had to pick me up because i had a panic attack when i saw all the kids in the cl.I couldn't bear the thought of it all happening again and the kids tormenting and hurting me. My family also keep telling me that a normal person my age should have a boyfriend and they keep trying to hook me up with guys as they think that if i had a boyfriend, i would have a purpose to live my life properly, but i don't even find guys attractive anymore and the thought of them near me repulses me. I used to have a crush on loads of guys but now i don't want to be with anyone and i don't think any boy guy is attractive. I never want to date again. What can i do? Why can't i get over this? I really don't want to be scared of people, especially my family anymore..